i'm making the change to wordpress. (:

maybe i'll come back here again someday. soon?

i'll tell you if i come back here again. (:

but it's wordpress for now. i like it there.

and it's time to say bye to the pink layout.

i have to admit the pink-ness hurts my eyes, sometimes. HAH.

i'll definitely keep this blog coz memories are here. (:

21.02.06 - 29.09.09.

siyunbaby.wordpress.com.

see ya there. (:

deleted a whole lot of pictures. (:

i can't ever get back those pictures that i deleted.

yay. finally.

let's see what i ate/drank ever since i woke up 3 hours ago.

1. 1 entire full mini snowskin durian mooncake.

2. 2 durian puffs.

3. half of a mini snowskin lotus paste with egg yolk mooncake.

4. one bottle of vitagen.

5. one cup of water.

6. 6 chicken sausages.

and mummy thinks i'm going to be anorexic?

nonsense, isn't it?!

i think my period's coming.

coz i'm eating like a pig and feel so mad bloated. ):

i always eat like a pig and feel bloated when it's coming.

listening to: hiccup by pink.

that's how i, sometimes, feel when i see you.

the solution.

i'll make myself think of it til it hurts so very badly,

i won't think of it anymore,

or until i become numb.

i can't think of a better and faster way.

90210, season 2, episode 3:

"it still hurts?"

"yeah. more than i realised.

'cause it takes a long time to make someone fade away."

siyunbaby.wordpress.com.

i'm not changing over to wordpress.

but i may just post some entries there. (:

"sleep now, child, rest easy and dream.

all things aren't what they seem.

a fear is just love unseen.

remember that and make love your theme."

- twitter.com/thedailylove.

it somehow became an entirely different issue

- deciding on whether i should say it or not.

i'll decide somewhere during the week?

not conducive to think now.

+ thinking alone doesn't seem to get me a conclusion.

anyway, i think f1 drivers are kinda hot.

googling them right now.

gossipgirl season 3, episode 2:

"there's a reason i always come back to you, carter.

and it's not because you're my bad habit."

"what then?"

"you're the only one who understood why i needed to find my father.

you were there for me during all of that, and i trust you."

"anyone would have done the same thing."

"no, they wouldn't have. and i don't want anyone else.

i want you."

- serena to carter.

okayy. sweet movies, shows, songs, videos are all

raining down on me recently.

i should avoid them.

coz they make me want to say things i really don't want to say out.

`gravity.

I shall try sugar-free naughtygdrink + alcohol soon.
At night. Alone. At home. In my room. (:
I'll message u peeps if I rrly get high! (:

oh! I've haagen dazs vouchers to clear!

1. naughtygdrink DOESN'T work.

it doesn't make me awake after a night of not sleeping.

it doesn't make me feel more energetic.

it doesn't make me want to 'work hard, play harder."

and for people who thinks horny goat weed makes you horny,

no, it definitely doesn't. i double-confirm.

2. them. (:

with the boy with bed-head hair in one picture.

3. my study guides for the entire year.

have to finish reading every single page.

have to change bedsheets so I can nap but I'm lazy.
Somebody please come and help me with them.
I hope my husband in the future, loves changing bedsheets.

`isn't it funny how these things get turned around?

just when i thought i knew you,

you proved me wrong.

i used to hate those things you love,

and love the things you hate.

and now i like it.

it looks like a boring day ahead.

but nevertheless, i'll try to make it fun. (:

by devoting my entire day to studying. (:

there's satisfaction in going through the notes and tutorials,

then realising that i actually understand the graphs and analysis. (:

listening to: band aid by pixie lott.

there's something strangely addictive about it.

`but they say bad endings make happy beginnings.

there's something about you that's like the sun.

tell me how ha-ha can i get?

i'm actually at chc's website,

looking at the wedding planning appendix

and wedding planning guide.

so sweet. i'm just a sucker for this type of things.

i melt. like almost instantly.

i have zero immunity. tsk.

why the first page of the appendix

only features the bodies of the bride and groom?

why not full-body?! hah.

[edited with postsecret.com postcards

and my thoughts on some of them.]

i want to go somewhere where i can don't put on mascara or eyeliner,

plus wear oversized tees + fbts/shorts,

a warm jacket if it's too cold,

wear slippers,

and wear my specs.

okay. i want to watch midnight movies at heartland malls.

pfft.

not because i'm stuck at home when i actually want to be at the movies.

just about something else.

instant reaction. okay not so. aiyah. i'm confusing myself too.

so it's not important. + tell me what has it actually got to do with me?

nothing. at all.

oh, whatever. aiyah, i don't care.

and again, i'm having a conversation with myself,

trying to persuade myself.

this is total nonsense.

can i just slap myself?

i t s c b a n f. b t t t i k k c b t m, e n a t.

a i c s t t f a i. this is so irritating.

c i d k i t a g o w t t o t.

+ i d k i t p t s t a i l b.

then again, i'm like so sure it is.

but i didn't say the one most important thing,

that i wanted to say.

i don't dare.

aiyah. go to sleep.

once i successfully drift off into dreamland,

i won't even be thinking about anything.

but i dreamt once recently.

a few times before.

i woke up, remembered that recent dream,

then i omg-ed.

coz i didn't think i would dream of it again.

rule no.1: i try not to say whoever's name in public or on my blog,

unless absolutely necessary.

`and now i miss everything about you.

i can't believe that i still want you.

i think it's true for me, sometimes.

occasionally.

when you do something, think of me.

why do i think that this is sweet?

i nearly typed "guys can be rendered useless."

but i won't. just because i think i should respect guys again.

and i will. + trust them again.

starting from today onwards. this very second. (:

wangsiyun's going back to believing and trusting again.

so please applaude. (:

3 months and i think i saw relatively nice guys.

i think wanting to trust again

also has something vague to do with today's service too.

so it's time to regain faith in them again.

i hope it's permanent this time. i want it to be. (:

but the problem is i realised that for now,

i only trust those guys that i know in church.

that's the problem.

yes, i know. i know not all christian guys are good,

and not all non-christian guys are bad.

but still. it's just for now.

maybe i'll extend the trust to non-christian guys in the future.

i know it's stupid,

but i feel like crying when i say i believe and trust again.

6 months of not, is almost killing me and making me tired.

i tell myself, almost everyday, for 6 months,

that i can't trust or i'll get hurt. that i'll stop trusting.

that prevention is better than cure.

but i've changed my mind now.

so i'll plunge myself into whatever comes once again.

but only if i feel that it's worth it. even if there's hurt involved.

only if i feel that i'd rather feel the pain than to never have had it before.

there's a slight difference between now and the past though.

i trust. wholeheartedly. but i also want to have my own voice. (:

and now, out of a sudden, these few sentences that pastor kong

said today during service, flashed past my mind.

when he said it, i was haha, yah. it's really true.

i think it's time for the notes app again.

i shall jot the sentences down.

i shall watch it again, online, when it's up.

so in fear that i'll be like this too,

maybe i won't get a tattoo after all.

HAHA. he needs to go online shopping at some websites.

OMG. and i suddenly thought of a text message conversation.

f1 tickets.

but they aren't mine.

i wish they were mine though. haha.

dhobyghaut station.

don't bother clicking on the picture coz it's too blur.

Listening to: I don't need a man - the pussycat dolls.
While mulling over my econs notes and tutorials.

I must be getting old. Pfft.
I'm feeling sleepy, all I want to do is to go home to sleep.

and now, I'm mentally browsing through my wardrobe,
with its limited clothings, thinking of what to wear for service later on.

`when i met you,

i didn't really like you.

I love the notes app.

I've found a new way to jot down whatever.

Should I get ready to go out now?

Or should I stay at home and watch tv?

I should go out coz today has been quite emotional.

Maybe. I shall deliberate. Hah.

shokudo with them. (:

nai was stuck in school though. ):

so it was 6-minus-1 today.

is it me or are air-conditioned places all really cold?

even if i wear long-sleeves to school,

i feel as though i'm about to go into hibernation mode

within 1.5 hours.

this is what i did during break in an attempt to stay awake.

i like writing on tissue paper. haha.

need to sleep. it's 2.34am

and i only finished one note. this is bad.

yes. phone 100% charged.

time-check: 2.59am.

i need some shut-eye desperately.

nights.

I'm early for dinner once again.
I can't believe this.
I should resume being the late one.
Hah.

Yet another person asking me for directions,
even though i'm plugged into my iPod.
Haha. I think I have the 'information-counter-face'.
Coz ppl always like to ask me for directions,
even if I'm busy texting, talking or plugged into my iPod.

(: I try my best to direct them,
although i'm quite a direction-idiot at times too.
Boo.

Just finished driving lessons.
And I'm waiting for the bus to rush to hougang now.

sometimes, when scenes pop into my mind unknowingly,

i feel everything's ridiculous.

so you can, but i can't.

it's total nonsense, isn't it?

i don't see why people can think that you and whoevers are j p f,

but when it comes to me, they just don't think so?

so what? i'm the one that gives those kind of impressions?

i have no idea if i should even feel insulted.

or upset that you don't know me well enough

and came up with that conclusion,

if it's the conclusion that you really came up with,

and if it's what you think i am.

i would like to think you knew better, after so many months.

ahh. forget it.

i won't ever be able to process it all and give myself an answer.

I get it yet I don't get it.
Then when I don't get it, I realise shld get it.
So yah, I get it. And pls don't think I sound angry,
coz i'm not. It's just a moment of confusion.
Confusion is a word tt pops up often,
for things concerning you.

maybe we should go for a drink

after all of your mid-sem papers are over.

i should get ready for school.

"go drinking bo jio."

- HAHAHA. i just saw your offline msg.

okay! i jio you next time! ((:

but by then, you'd probably be back in hall mugging!

recess week would be over!

`not a day goes by and i don't think of you.

In the midst of lecture but I'm worried.

I wished I reached school earlier.

I wished I knew you didn't go for lessons,

so I could meet you and talk to you.

I thought you went for lessons.

But you know you can get me on the phone,

anytime you need to talk. Even if it's late at night.

Nothing to do w e above:
but I think that there's an apple that I want,
though I've only ever admitted it to one person,
& that's something I never thought I'd admit.
Admitting it was a lil difficult at that point in time.
But now it feel easier and better.
+ I'm not killing myself over it anymore.

And because i admit it, I no longer feel like strangling myself

over some ... that I ... that i shouldn't.
I accept me wanting that apple.
It's only that, me and that apple?
We'lll never be near each other.
I know. And I take it as it is.

And I keep having this strong feeling that what I think
is true. And that it has s t d w y.
Although I can't 100% be certain, this vague scenario springs out.
But even if it's true, it's really has nothing to do w me.
It's so entirely n o m b until
I think it's so very ridiculous of me even having the scenario in my mind.
But it just pops out. I didn't even have to think about it.

That was my very first thought and feeling when I ...

That thought came in an instant. Out of the blue.

But the more things I seem to uncover and know,

the more my heart aches.

But it's only temporal. I know it will be. Right.

My heart aches and it serves as a reminder to not think about it,

then, sooner or later, everything would be made right again.

45more mins to end of lecture.
And I'm blog-hopping plus blogging.

I'm intrigued to know what did u l and how h the w you learnt it was.
But I can't ask again. Due to several factors.
Why didn't you text me that instead of * so I could ask?

coloured hair.

jie says that i looked quite lian with my hair colour. do i really?!

but at least i coloured it back already. (:

it was during the wedding dinner in may.

idk when and who took this.

but i think it was during the wedding-video,

or some performance.

since i was so captivated to the front.

this is what we saw at 7-11.

naughty g drink.

is it a new drink? HAH.

googled it and i think it works like redbull.

i've never tried redbull before.

but i wanna try naughty g drink someday. (: maybe.

but just once, one can.

i don't like drinking drinks like this,

or like h20 or 100-plus.

and what is horny goat weed?!

cut certain parts of very recent entries,

some were even whole entries,

and saved them into my drafts folder.

and i did a lil spring-cleaning for my phone as well.

gossipgirl season 2:

"you can tell me what you feel for me is real."

"it's just a game."

"chuck, why did you just do that?"

"because i love her."

"you were right. i love you too."

gossipgirl, season 3:

"i want you to be happy,

however that's achieved."

- chuck to blair.

`you've been reaching too far,

you've been trying too much,

you've been losing yourself.

so out of touch.

Sitting at macs, at Clarke Quay.
Waiting for the first train.
With 7% of battery life left in my iPhone.